As a developer by trade, I am always looking at how AI is being used and learning how to use it. I noticed that chatGPT has a Creative Writing coach and I wanted to see what it would say if I gave it the first chapter of my book, which you can read here.
Here is what it had to say. What do you think? Having read my chapter would you agree with its understanding of the chapter and the advice it has given?
This opening chapter sets a vivid, intense scene with a lot of potential for drawing readers into the story. Here's my feedback:
What's Good:
Atmospheric Description: You've done an excellent job creating an atmospheric setting with the two moons, the sea edge, and the wooden dwell. The use of sensory details—like the smell of saltwater and the acrid taste—is immersive.
Character Introduction: The introduction of the stranger is mysterious and gripping. You effectively communicate his dire physical condition and resilience, which makes readers curious about his past and future.
Writing Style: Your prose has a nice rhythm and uses descriptive, evocative language, making the reading experience quite vivid and engaging.
Suggestions for Improvement:
Clarity in Action: Some sentences are quite long and packed with multiple actions and sensations. Consider breaking them down for clarity and impact. For instance, when the man falls again, the series of events could be more impactful if they are succinct and separated into the immediate actions, reactions, and sensations.
Consistent Perspective: Ensure that the perspective remains consistent. If we're closely following the stranger's experience, it might strengthen the narrative to stay intimately connected to his sensations and perceptions, only revealing what he would notice or feel in his weakened state.
Setting Context: While the immediate action is gripping, readers might also benefit from a bit of context or hints about the world they're in—why are there two moons? What is the significance of the door and the name 'Elrik'? Even small hints can intrigue readers and build the world without detracting from the urgency of the scene.
Additional Thoughts:
Consider the pacing in relation to the stranger's injuries and actions. The severe physical state he's in might sometimes conflict with the actions he's able to perform, so ensuring that the physicality of his movements is believable within his injured state can enhance realism.
The mood is excellently dark and brooding, but ensure to intersperse some moments or details that might provide contrast or relief, even in small ways, to avoid overwhelming the reader and to enhance the dark moments by contrast.
Keep going with this story; you've got a strong, engaging start that can lead into a compelling narrative! Would you like to expand on any specific areas or have any particular concerns addressed in this chapter?
Fascinating, thanks for sharing Aaron! I'll have to give that a go myself :)